About me

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Pontianak, West Kalimantan, Indonesia
I'm not a great writer but at least I can write. It's better than doing nothing.

Kamis, Mei 20, 2010

Once failure doesn't mean to be failed forever


(My story in learning English)
I will never forget this unhappy day. It happened when I was in senior high school grade three in 2006. It was the day when every grade three student had to gather in one class to receive a good white envelope. The envelope was not money that I could use to continue studying at university but it was the envelope of national assessment system result. The first I was really happy that it was the time to know my result. I did believe that I would pass the exam but what I hoped did not come true. I was failed in English subject.
At 7.30 a.m. all grade three students and the teachers had gathered in the meeting class. Every body included me wondered whether we passed or not. We were very worried and nervous. Our happy morning turned to be trembling day because of our red eye teachers looking at us like they wanted to clap our cheeks. One and a half hours had passed but the head master was still delivering his lovely speech. We could not bear knowing our result. But we could not stop the headmaster speaking.
At 9 sharp, the headmaster stopped speaking and it was the time for him to give the envelope to the students. After the headmaster finished speaking, he called the students one by one. My best friend, Hasbillah, got the first calling. He came forward, took and opened the envelope happily. ‘Hurrah! Hurrah!’ He said, I did not pass the exam. I was surprised; the clever student in the class was failed. Then, Tuti, was called. She came forward and opened the envelope. ‘Thanks god’, she said. She passed the exam. And then one by one my friends were called. Some of my friends passed and some did not. In the eighth calling, it was my turn. Herman, said the teacher. I came forward nervously, took the envelope and opened it. And the result, I was failed. I got 4.00 for my English subject that meant I did not pass.
I just kept silent. I could not say anything while contemplating my bad destiny. Every one mocked me. ‘The second rank class student is failed’, they said. My English teacher was surprised to see my result but he could do nothing for my result. I went home sadly and told it to my parents. My mother and my brother were angry but my father was not. My father just said, ”Man, I am proud of you. You could do your test. Don’t be sad, it is just your temporary result. You still have time to get the best result.” He clapped my right shoulder and went away. I was never sad like what I felt at that time. I felt ashamed of the mockery that was expressed with a nice voice by all people surrounding me. I was really afraid of my parents’ anger. Every body looked me down. I was like rubbish that did not have any usage in their sight. I could not bear it. I went to my bedroom directly and contemplated my fate while closing my eyes until sleeping.
At 12 p.m. I woke up because I had nightmare. My failure still influenced me. I could not relax. I took my brother’s cigarette and smoked. Then, I turned TV on and watched it. I could not sleep after I got up until I heard someone called to prayer. Then, I took wudlu and prayed. After praying I looked at myself in the mirror and talked to myself and then made a promise that I would prove to them that I was not a stupid student like what they said. I decided to go to senior high school again.
At 6.30 a.m. all my family had got up. I met my mother and talked to her that I would go to school again. My mother forbade me. She did not want to be shy again. She though that I would not pass the exam. However, it was my decision. Whether my mother let me or not I had to go to school again. Two hours later I went to my headmaster’s house and told her that I would join the class again. My headmaster smiled at me and said ‘good’. Then, I went home and directly opened my English book even it was holidays.
Three months later, I went to school and studied again in grade three. I was ashamed when everybody looked at me while saying ‘Hi, we have a new friend. You should introduce yourself to us’. They insulted me as if they did not let me join in their class. I could not say anything. I was just silent and had my seat. Before my teacher came, they mocked me continuously. I could not bear it. I lost my temper and said ‘all the great students in this class; listen to me carefully! I did not pass the exam was not because I am stupid. It was just my unlucky. I think you are all more stupid than me. To prove this, I challenge you all. If you can get higher score than me, I will give you two hundred and fifty thousand’. They all kept silent and the class became so quite. Our English teacher came, and was surprised that I was in the class. ’Hallo Man’ he greeted me. How is your life? Hi, sir. I replied. I could not be better. Then he asked us to open an English book and studied it.
I studied harder and harder. I tried to understand the English lesson that I though it was the most difficult subject. I was not satisfied with my English teacher’s explanation in the school, so I decided to take an English course. I took the English course at VEC in Sungai Durian. I had been taking an English course there for six months. There I met my new English teacher. His name is Mr. Dedi. He gave me some tips to understand English well. I did what he said. He also gave me a place where I could study English more. It was Pare, east java. I became more and more spirit to study English and my English teacher in the school said that my English was better and better. I never imagined that my English teacher praised me. The student like me that never understood the English lesson could understand the English materials that he explained.
Day by day had passed and I was motivated to improve my English more and more. If formerly I studied was just for passing the exam, but now I studied for teaching the English. I though that English was not my problem anymore. I could understand what my English teacher explained. My father was happy to see me like that.
Several months later, I had to face the final exam again. I studied hard in order I could pass the exam with good scores. About a month later, before I received the result of my examination, I went to Pare, east java to study English there. My mother did not let me go. I explained to her my reason to go there and at last she let me go. She gave me chance to study there just for three months. I was happy that I could go there. Three days later, I went to Pare by ship. I dropped my tear and said ‘I will not disappoint my parents twice’. It took me three days to get there.
When I arrived there, I looked for a boarding house. I met one of the English teachers there. Her name is Miss. Lina. She suggested me joining at Basic English Course (BEC), one of the English courses there. I received her suggestion and studied there. I had been studying there for nine months. While I was studying at BEC, I also studied at Rhima English course (REC). Several days later, my brother called me and told me that I passed the exam. My happiness was perfect. I could go to Pare and I passed the exam.
Six months later, Miss. Lina ordered me to be a tutor at REC. I received and became a tutor there. My English became more and more improve. Four months later, I decided to go home. I really missed my parents. After I finished my study at BEC and got Mastering System Certificate, I directly went home. I went home happily. I thanked to all my teachers there for teaching me.
In three days, I got home. My parents welcomed me happily. I was happy too, because I could make them happy. My teacher came to my house and asked me to be an English teacher at my senior high school. Then, I taught there.
This gives me a great lesson that I should not need to give up. I should try first before I say I cannot. Everything will be possible if I afford hard to reach it seriously. ‘No harm to try’ is the great expression that I always keep in my mind. Finally, I say ‘once failure will be never failed forever.
 

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